'Survive or Thrive?' Answers, Part 1

* As an introductory note, make sure that you read, "Survive or Thrive?" before reading the following.

I sent Miss. Jasmine Baucham a list of questions to which she graciously replied. Below are the questions and her very well articulated answers. Enjoy :)

Q. "What about college?"
A. Whether or not a family decides to give their sons or daughters a college education is up to them, but I'm not sure it's entirely wise to send an eighteen-year-old of either gender across the country to receive that education without the guidance and discipleship of their parents. Most often, there are just too many other options to justify that choice. That's not to say there aren't good Christian schools out there, and that college degrees are evil. But it's also not to say that following another course of action automatically condemns me or anyone else in my shoes.
Q. "How do you handle less than pleased responses when people want to know what you're doing and why? "
A. I just try to remain calm, and to realize that the way I carry myself has a lot to do with how people perceive my decisions. If I am imperial and judgmental, and if I frown down my nose at young women who haven't had the blessing of making the choices that I have, people's response to me will be negative and defensive. If I'm full of grace and humility, if I learn to smile a little, be joyful :), I might get the same horrible reaction, but I'll be able to rest easy, knowing that I responded with Christian love and charity. We must also remember that we're not in this for the world's approval. If we're staying at home just so we can pat our backs and puff out our chests, we're doing it for the wrong reasons.
Q. "What about extended family who are disappointed with your decision?"
A. In my case, my extended family has been disappointed with us very often, whether it be for the choice to attend an FIC, the choice to homeschool, my choice not to date... so it's nothing new! :) But I do have a set of cousins who have been very understanding, and who -after realizing the reasons behind my choice to stay at home -have even started to make the same choices, or at least respect my choice. Again, we're not doing this for the world's approval. Some family members are just glad to see that I'm content and settled with my choice (the one's who always ask if I'm still "okay"), but there will always be some who just think I'm "weird," and that's going to have to be okay. We have to have a thick skin, and be ready to answer questions. :)
Q. "How do you handle difficulties of going against the culture?"
A. My daddy always says that I'm ever ready for a war! :) That's my personality. I always want to have an answer for any question leveled against me, and I want it to be articulately and gracefully stated. I had to realize that my family are the people who will always love me, and that as long as I was honoring my parents and glorifying God through my choices, I had nothing to fear from the world. Being a Christian, I'm promised persecution in God's Word. I've learned that it's coming, and that when it comes, I ought to be ready for it. That doesn't mean I walk about with a furrowed brow and a harsh demeanor, but it does mean that I know where and why I stand.
Q. "When you are struggling, how do you refocus?"
A. I center myself on God's Word. I talk to my parents -especially my mom -about my struggles, and they pray with me and hold me accountable. I talk to like minded friends, and we pray together and laugh together. And I try not to take myself too seriously. Life's hard enough without putting myself on a pedestal. :)

Survive or Thrive?

Our culture is involved in a serious battle for the family. The more I read about feminism in the words of feminists the more I am shocked-they are not in anyway guarded about their agenda. They want to 'liberate' the woman from her God ordained role in the home, destroy men, place children under the care of the government, destroy personal property, and enslave us all to a Socialistic State. Unfortunately, the church has also bought this destructive lie, some promote it outright, denying the authority of the Inspired Word of God, others unwittingly promote the destructive force of feminism by not understanding the role of women as ordained by God and as a result of their ignorance they are following the feministic culture around them. However, in His grace God is opening the eyes of His people to understand what the scriptures teaches about the family. Things seemingly so plainly stated and yet we breeze over them as we study the scriptures. As we seek to revive God's plan for women daughters are wanting to know, what does the scripture say about our role? 'Honor your father and mother', yes we know, but is that it? Most would say yes, but I believe differently. If the role of being a wife and mother is taken so seriously by God that He would warn us to be faithful to our posts so that His word is not blasphemed (Titus 2:4-5) don't you think He would desire that we spend time learning how to fill those roles? Woman's role involves submission, sevice, diligence, joy, faithfulness (1 Cor. 11:3, 14:34-35; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6; Eph.5:22-24; Gen. 2:18 & 22; Proverbs 31:10-31) in return we receive the blessings of learning and protection (Neh. 4:14 & 8:3; Numbers 30:3-16; Eph. 5:25). Why do we automatically assume that we are only to apply these principles of womanhood after marriage? Why do we assume that until she has a husband a woman is atonomous? Why do we believe that we will just 'know' how to live on a budget, cook, efficiently clean, patiently care for and train children, and happily submitt to a husband when we are married? These are things that must be carefully cultivated during our youth.
This blog was originally established to encourage daughters who understand this and are seeking daily to apply it. Most specifically, I wanted to encourage daughters who have chosen to remain home under their father's protection and authority during this phase of life.
To this end I have been seeking to put toegher a small series of interviews with other Christian young women who have choosen to embrace the biblical model for the family and are remaining home while serving and preparing for the future.
I hope that you are blessed and encouraged by the testimonies of these fellow pilgrims.

What time is it?

I cannot figure out how to change the time on this blog, but I can assure you, I was not posting at 3 am. So, please bear with my lack of computer savvy until I can get my brother to help me figure this thing out. :) Thanks

The Next Commander in Chief?

Well, I have to keep this post short because I have to get out and milk the goats, but as I was checking my e-mail this morning I came across a news headline which blared "Clinton, Obama go on Attack in Pennsylvana Compagain Finale"-Democrats Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama questioned each other's character and readiness to be commander-in-chief in last minute television ads as the six week Pennslyvania primary campain steamed toward an uncertain conclusion on Tuesday" Great, "I am a better leader than you because I don't do this, this and this." Any five year old can give me that immature junk, constantly jabbing with the 'are you able to handle this responsibility?' and the answer comes back 'sure, we'll just put everyone on gonvernment run health care and we'll be fine'* You know, to be very frank neither of them have yet (to my knowledge) proven that they are fit to fill the bill of leadership. Micah 6:8 says, "He hath showed thee , O man, what is good, and what the Lord requireth of thee: surely to do justly, to love mercy, and to humble thyself, to walk with thy God." and in Matthew 20:26-28 we read, "But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you. let him be your servant; and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: even as the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many." Hm, you figure it out.


Neither as of yet has either shown discernment in the issue of the Iraq war. The more I read about what's going on over there the more I am convinced that neither Clinton or Obama have stopped to take any thing into account other than, 'we gotta get our poor boys home'. Laides and gentlemen, as a Navy brat I understand the grief of missing my father (among other things) and believe me, I want our men home with their families, but, and I believe that they will be the first to tell you, we've got a job to finish up, and we are doing well right now. Well, I'll have to finish this another time, because I am late to milk the goats already.

* this was originally written on April 22

Life After High-School Part 2 . . .

Okay, as we get back into this I want to make sure that I clear up some issues.


The question I asked specifically was, "What do we do with our unmarried years?" and as I was going over my notes form the previous post I think that question is answered by 1 Corinthians 7:32&34. The application of this truth will look different in each person's life, depending on where God has them, but the basic truth remains the same: single years are for service and spiritual growth in ways that married people may not be able to based on the difference in responsibilities.

Therefore I am posing a new question to you:
How does college and higher education fit in? Earlier we discussed the fact that many people, not all, attend college for various reasons that do not fit within the biblical guidlines for this period of life.

One point I want to make sure that I am very clear on is this: in and of itself college is not a sin. It can most certainly be a breeding ground for all sorts of sins, but of itself it is not a sin. Higher Education (which sometimes includes college and sometimes does not) is not only not a sin, but it is vitally important to the preservation and passing on of life and liberty. Also, there is the concern of the many influences on campus (1Cor.15:33).

So, some questions to ask as we muse about college are as follows:

1) Why am I doing what I am doing? Does this have eternal value (2 Cor.5:9-11; 1 Cor. 3:10-15)?

2) Is this going to inhibit my ability to serve the Lord?

3) Is there another way that I can learn and grow without exposing myself to the negative influences? (i.e. distance learning, self teaching, etc)

4) Is this going to help prepare me for the future calling of wife and mother?

There are questions I cannot answer for you; you have to evaluate them through prayer, searching the scriptures and the counsel of of wise believers (preferrable your parents, though I realize that not all people have the blessing of godly Christian parents. In this situation, seek godly advice from an older, mature believer).

Some References for you:

"So Much More" by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin

"What's a Girl to do?" by Doug Phillips, cd

" The Return of the Daughters" by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin, movie/dvd

"Making Wise Decisions About College and Life After High School" by Doug Phillips, cd

Life After High School

When I graduated in the spring of ’07 most people knew of my desire to be a wife and mother at such a time as the Lord should choose to bring me a husband. The biggest questions I was asked was, “What was I going to do between now and then?” Hmmm. Good question. Most of my peers (actually, all of the ones I know) headed off to college, for various reasons. All of my female peers went to college and most went for what my father calls the ‘MRS’ degree (i.e. to find a husband). The majority of women are headed off to college to have a good time, often find a husband, and/or get a bunch of letters attached to their names (such as BS, PhD, AAS, etc.) . Many young women head to college because they don’t know what to do with their lives and since everybody else is going, they might as well go too. Now, lest you think me overly judgmental, there are some who go for education, but, we’ll address that in a little bit.
Now as we dive into this I’ll give you one of my father’s favourite Doug Phillips quotes, “Does a fish know it’s wet?” Well, not necessarily. A fish can certainly tell when it’s dry because it cannot breathe anymore, but other than that, wetness is all it has ever known and the only way they know they’re wet is when they’re dry. I know what you’re thinking, “Okay, great, thanks, that helps a lot” :) It truly does and let me show you how:
We live in a corrupt, pagan culture which hates God and rebels against Him in all that they do; dress, music style, forms of education, disregard for the blessings of children, divorce, murder, adultery, dishonouring parents, homosexuality, etc. Unfortunately we also see the church mimicking this rebellion in similar ways (dress, music standards, forms of educations, disregard for the blessing of children, etc) although, we do it in a more ‘holy’ manner, a nice ‘Christian step’ above the world. Now, to bring this full circle, how do we treat our single years after we’ve graduated? Do we follow the trend, spend around four years at college and go get a job in some corporate business? As part of my answer let me share a bit of my testimony.

My desire from the time I was young until now has pretty much always been to impact the world for Christ; the only difference is how I used to desire to execute that plan and how I now desire to do so. At one time, I was going to be president of the United States and I was going to turn us around. I was sick of the sin and wickedness and by golly I was going to change all of that! That was when I was eight. Around the time I was ten I wanted to be a missionary in China and die as a martyr (which, if it be God’s will, is an honourable call). Around the time I was fourteen I was going to attend Patrick Henry College and become a lawyer to use my argumentations to turn the legal system around and get us back on track, or at least give it my best shot. Again, noble ideas, but not the preferred method of execution. Around the time I turned fifteen God used my father to change my direction 180 degrees. As my parents were searching the word and seeking God’s direction on my future the Lord led my father to 1 Cor. 7:32&34, “. . . He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord. There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world-how she may please her husband.” As my father sought to translate that into daily living what he realized was that the unmarried years are set aside as time to ‘care for the things of the Lord-how I may please the Lord.’ Also, through both his searching and the work God was doing in my own heart we became conscious of a biblical principle that our culture has lost- a daughter remaining under her father’s authority and protection until God brings her a husband and that authority is transferred. This brought about some changes, to say the least because you have to understand the above principles in light of the role of woman as designed by God.

In order to understand the role a woman has and how that applies in each season in her life we must look back at the original creation account. In the beginning God created the universe and all therein and then created man to be His representative (image) and care for this wondrous creation. Adam immediately set to work naming the animals and found in the process of exercising dominion that there was not a helper suitable to him. God in His wisdom also knew this and knew that is ‘is not good for man to be alone’. So He created woman to work by Adam’s side and be his fellow dominion taker, his helper, complimentary to him and his needs. So, the question is, based on the origins of our first mother’s creation, based on the role we are designed for, and in light of 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, what are we to do during the unmarried years?

. . . You’ll find out in a week! :)

Been Awhile. . .

Hello Everyone,
Sorry it's been so long. I've started work on another post, but our family is in the midst of a difficult trial right now so it's going to be a bit :}
However, as a heads up, I am going to take the next couple posts to talk about being daughters in our fathers' homes. I am going to address the service oppurtunities and the importance of preparing for the future role of wife and mother. It should be lots of fun!
Well, until next time.